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My Art

100 THINGS about me

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2002-04-17 - 3:07 p.m.

No post today....just enjoy the beach.

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2002-04-16 - 3:20 p.m.
In the quest of the perfect martini, I went out and did something insane: I paid $53.99 for a bottle of gin!! Cadenhead's Old Raj Dry Gin. Of course, this is sooo like me...always on a quest for the exotic....but even I was feeling a little guilty as I drove home from the store. But now I really have a problem: it's really, I mean, extremely good! I'm sitting here doing a taste test between it and my usual standby, Tanqueray (about $16.00/bottle), and, let me tell you, "Old Raj" makes Tanqueray taste like jet feul! What am I gonna do now?!?!?!? Who knew it would be soooo much better?!?!?!? How can I afford to drink like this?!?!?! What have I done to myself!?!?!?!!!!

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2002-04-16 - 12:59 p.m.

I just ordered a Sewing Genie!!

Yeah....so I never sew!...but it's just like the commercial says, I never sew because I don't want to drag out my great big 2 ton monolith of a sewing machine that I don't know how to use anyway....and, like the commercial says, anyone can use the Sewing Genie!!

I had to have one (but why???..Nevermind why!) So...I ordered it off their web page....and let me tell you, there's a few things you need to know, in case you wanted one for yourself. After you have completed your order, or think you have, they offer you about a thousand more accessories for the the thing (some of which you're not sure you really need, but feel obligated to buy). So the price in the end is not really $39.95...it's much, much more!! And also they give you the opportunity to buy additional Sewing Genies at a huge discount!!! This means that if all your friends want one (and you know they do), don't order them separately....order one, go through check out, then you can order all the additional ones at the special secret discount price! Genius!

But lastly, you need to know, that after you go through all that, and you finally have your order completely completed, they tell you you'll have to wait 4 to 6 weeks for your order! Four to six weeks?!?!?!? Where's my instant gratification?!?! This is the internet!!! Everything you order on the internet is supposed to arrive almost immediately!! That's why I order from the internet!! 4 to 6 weeks is an eternity! I might change my mind by then...I could learn how to use my two ton monster by then!!

Well...when I finally get it (about a thousand years from now!) I'll let you know...until then, stay tuned.....

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2002-04-15 - 3:42 p.m.
The Vanity Fair Questionaire

What is your idea of perfect happiness? Spending unlimited, uninterrupted time with my love.

What historical figure do you most identify with? That's a tough one....I don't think I can narrow it down to one. Although, Marilyn Monroe comes to mind...because of her quote "I just want to be wonderful." I can identify with that.

Which living person do you most admire? Barbara Walters.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Laziness and procrastination. (oh, that's two traits!...well, I could go on and on...good thing they limited it to only one!)

What is the trait you most deplore in others? Braindeadness.

What is your favorite journey? Any road trip with my love. And any journey that involves going to the beach.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Sobriety!!

On what occasion do you lie? You don't need to know that!

Which living person do you most despise? Anybody who tries to take advantage of anyone else in any way.

Which words or phrases do you most over use? "orgasmic" and "it's a scam!!"

What is your greatest regret? All the things I've said that I regretted saying.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Everything! No, really...I think I wish I could change my lack of willpower...I need more willpower. That would change everything!

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Buying my building in Oregon.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? Wow, these questions are more difficult than I thought. I would probably come back as sand.

What is your most treasured possession? That would have to either be my cat or my car.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? The loss of a loved one.

What is the quality you most like in a man? A feminine side.

What is the quality you most like in a woman? The ability to do manly things.

What do you most value in your friends? The ability to like, I mean, love me.

Who are your most favorite writers? F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tim Cahill, Bill Bryson...I could go on and on....anyone who writes anything interesting.

Who are your heros in real life? People who are old in age but young in mind.

What is it that you most dislike? Stupidity.

How would you like to die? Painlessly.

What is your motto? "I just want to be wonderful."

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