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2007-07-19 - 12:01 a.m.
A couple weeks ago, Velociman asked if I would send him some snapshots of myself. He sort of stumbled, saying that he knows I have nude pics of myself for sale, but he wasn't really looking to pay for nude photos....just a plain old snapshot would do. But then he realized that he almost made a faux pas and quickly corrected himself. Of course it would be worth paying to see me in the nude....but he was trying to be polite by just asking for a simple snapshot.

Well, as luck would have it, Alan was messing around with his camera and somehow accidentally took this weird video of me. So here you go, V~man. Better than a snapshot, not as good as nude. (However, nudity is always available upon request.)

Me, not nude.

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2007-07-18 - 1:01 a.m.
So I've noticed that you really don't get any sympathy when you tell people that the air conditioning in your BMW went out...and that you have to drive 100 miles in the heat of summer to get it fixed. I've lamented this trauma to all sorts of different people....all very good friends....and all of them seem to think I am realllly spoiled. What's up with that??!

Now stay tuned people.....I've got some funky video of ME that I will post tomorrow....and I will get to posting the 12 million other things that have happenend so far.

But here are few facts to tide you over:

The Chevy Classic (the car we rented for a speck) is definitely not a Classic

The best BMW dealership is in Beaverton, OR.:
They actually give you a free loaner car. And the woman who hooks you up with the loaner car, wears the highest possible heels with the clingy~est possible dress on a booty that knows no bounds. Entertainment no matter what your fetish.

The best thing about a BMW X3 loaner car (which amazingly would have cost more than my X5 because it had all the packages*) is the padded squooshy steering wheel.

*Don't get me started on the "Packages!"

(But the squooshy steering wheel would be worth paying for.)

See you tomorrow!

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2007-07-15 - 10:01 p.m.
Hello hello hello!!!

See....I said I was going to post...I promised...and here I am. But the thing is, I've been without an internet connection for like DAYS!!! And soooo much has happened: the TRAIN CAR motel, the COW, the AIR CONDITIONING issue, the W, the RENTAL car, SEATTLE.....Oy. But tomorrow we are off to Portland to deal with the AIR you're just going to have to wait. And when I get back, there is going to be so much to post that you know I'm not going to remember half of it. So feel free to remind me in the you can say: what the heck were you going to tell us about the COW???

Stuff like that.

I'll be back. There will be more. Too much. Blogging's hard.

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2007-07-08 - 10:08 p.m.
Everybody needs a little head.*

So I was chatting with the amazing Velociman tonight. Even though I read him voraciously, it's rare that we talk on the phone. We made genteel chit chat for about a minute and a half...then he blatantly...but casually asked, "So how's the sex life?"

Um....uh...say that again?

You see, he is from the Souwwth. And that beautiful southern twang he has, made it seem like he couldn't possibly be asking me about my sex life. Could he? But that is the beauty of the V~man....of course he was asking me about my sex life! Unfortunately, I made him repeat the question THREE times before I registered what he was asking. I seemed like such a prude....but really, I was just caught off guard. (Next time, V~man, I'll be ready for you!)

But to properly answer his question: after a heart attack, the doctor says you can't have sex until you can climb two flights of stairs without getting out of breath. A.K.A.: If you can't laugh, and you can't sneeze, you can't cum. Velociman suggested oral sex, but that brought on the question as to whether any type of orgasm might be fatal for those (Alan) recovering from open heart surgery.

Such are the conversations with Velociman. It's all good.

So, moving on to other things.....Alan and I are heading out on our first road trip since the surgery. Out to the coast, up to Astoria, and on to Seattle and back. I'm going to try to blog this trip more like I used to....way back in the good ole days when this blog was new. No promises, but I will try. So stay tuned, people!

*And in case you need a little head, check out's got the heads:

Get some heads.

Garden party heads.

The heads get violent!"

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