2007-04-14 - 12:08 a.m.
Today is my Dad's 70th birthday, which is the main reason we drove up to Oregon from San Fran. We drove another 200 or so miles today (round trip) to go have dinner with him, my mom and my sister. Now the dynamics here are complicated. But let's just say, I was pretty deep into a panic/anxiety attack before we left. (Thank heavens for the little pills called Ativan.)
When I get in one of these anxiety modes, I just cannot get out of bed in the morning. And it complicates things that I know I must get up and get going and move forward to something I don't want to do. And it complicates things that my Love does not understand this and continues to prod me to get out of bed. It becomes a snowball and just gets worse. I need to take baby steps to get the day going, but that is not everybody's cup of tea.
So. Some reasons I was dreading today, even though I love my Father more than anything or anybody else on this earth.
First, I was really dreading seeing my sister. I see her about once every four years, and she has aged and changed so much. Also, she has had a very troubled life, which she has tried to correct, but she will always have some of the issues she has. I want to remember her from when she was young and was my idol. But that is not to be. And now she tells me about my parents (who she sees regularly) and how she needs to be there to take care of them. This troubles me greatly, because I live so far away. When I see them, they put on a good face, but I know she's right. They are ageing.
Next, as much as I love my Father, he's become an odd curmudgeon. Even though we always have a bottle of wine or champagne when we get together as a family, he then takes issue that we are drinking. So through the meal tonight, there was continued sarcastic taunting and lecturing about the fact that we were drinking, even though he was drinking too. Not fun. And I think it made my sister and I just want to have another drink! As he's aged, his humor has turned. In our family, it was hard enough trying to do whatever it took to be good enough for him...but now, I think it might be impossible.
Then there's my mom. I don't think you have enough time to hear why I'm not close to my mom. And how age has changed her.
My family. I love them, but it takes a lot out of me to see them. And to top it off, we drove into town to save them a 200 mile trip out to our place. But no! They're coming out tomorrow to do lunch. It's not over yet!
Fortunately, we're also on our way back to California tomorrow afternoon. Wish me luck that my favorite little motel on the ocean will have a room for us so we can escape for a day!comments??? (1 so far...) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2007-04-12 - 11:35 p.m.
I have met my share of famous people....and I *never* know what to say. Alan thinks I should do a blog about why certain celebrities hate me. i.e:"Why Gus van Sant Hates Me." or "Why Steve Martin is Stalking Me."
But I was totally caught off guard last night when Mr. Velociman called me up and laid his golden tongue on me through the phone lines.
So, of course I went into OMGOMGOMG!!! mode. I think he spoke three words and I ended up talking his ear off.
Happy Birthday, V Man! Thanks for letting me in on your celebration!
2007-04-10 - 1:41 a.m.
Fun times, people!
This is an old converted warehouse building, so I'm somewhat prepared for crapola like this. Stuff like this happens every now and then. And I am fortunate to have a plumber and a construction worker as tenants. But still.....Oy! Can you believe I used to actually live here full time....for 10 years?! I feel overwhelmed and *spoiled* when I get here. Especially after the last few years of living in an actual apartment and a real house in California. SPOILED.
But despite the electical storm, the bar was open. By chance, I was able to get re~aquainted with a child of friend I had met many years ago. The child who was about 7 when I met her, is now a woman in her 20's with her own cafe. Full circle, eh? We'll stop by her place tomorrow for a drink.
The rain has stopped. My tenants/friends/experts will come up tomorrow to help fix things. Everything will be Ok.comments??? (1 so far...) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2007-04-01 - 6:56 p.m.
As you can see in the photo above, our cat Ember was going to swat me in the face if I didn't start blogging again.
Anyway....here are my new glasses. This picture doesn't really do them justice. The frames are a really nice semi~translucent~deep~blue~color that you can't really see in this light. So you'll just have to take my word for it. (Also....TJ, now you *have* to come out to California so that you can add me to your Spec Project!)
comments??? (4 so far...) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Of course, you know, all of this is copy right protected. None of this information may be reproduced without my permission.