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2008-01-08 - 10:30 p.m.
So you all know about "drunk dialing." Well, my problem is *drunk ordering*: I'll have just a few (18,000) glasses of wine, and then go on line and start shopping. Usually, my acquisitions turn out Ok....stuff I don't really need, but cool stuff as far as stuff goes.

But every now and then, I transgress.

(Bless me Father for I have sinned. I fell for an infomercial!!)

Well, not exactly. Martha Stewart made me do it. She raved about this thing in one of her I just HAD to have it. It was only later that I realized it was an "as seen on TV" thing. OMG!

So here's how it went down:

1. It's the new year, and of course you try and renew your vows to getting in shape (like I'm doing right now by blogging instead of working out.)

2. You see a magazine article that totally convinces you that your whole life will be uprooted and changed for the better if you just buy this one new thing and follow the video.

3. In desperation of finding the *New You* buy the thing. Because:

A. Martha Stewart's magazine said so.
B. They offer teeney weeney little monthly payments that make it seem like you're getting the whole shebang for $39.95.
C. They tell you that you can send it back within 30 days and get your money back if you're not satisfied.

Mmmm..hmmm. Here's the real truth.

1. It arrived in a box big as my car!
2. There will be 20 million payments on this thing.
3. I want to send it back, but it is so heavy, it's cheaper to keep her.
4. It was supposed to be EASY to fold up and roll away. (Yeah, right!)
5. I have absolutely no room in my apartment for this thing.
6. Oddly, I kind of like it, but it doesn't do anything.
7. I haven't watched the videos yet. (It comes with 3 videos and a ball.)

But the real real truth is, you can't send it back. It's a trick. They tell you that you can send it back within 30 days. But you have to have the original packaging. And there's no way to do that! The mega box it came in was already so torn up, I'm surprised it made it here. Then, just to unwrap it and get it out of the box, all the packing material has to be destroyed.

I could go on and on about the absurtities of this thing, but I'll spare you....mainly because I will have to explain all of this to my boyfriend when he comes home from his business trip. Oy and oops!

Stay tuned. I'll update in a day or three, after I watch the videos. I report back on how it has changed my life!

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